Well fuck, the first trimester literally flew by. I feel like I just found out I was pregnant and now I’m almost halfway through this pregnancy 😳

Week 5:

I’m still functional and doing things. My life is still normal. I still have appointments with clients, although I’m turning away any new clients that inquire because I just don’t know if I’ll be functional. Sam is also going through multiple interviews and finalizing a job in Illinois so I doubt I’ll even be in CA for the inquiries.

And other than the waves of nausea, I’m barely feeling pregnant.

Week 6:

OOF, ok nausea has hit FOR SURE. Im, struggling to eat anything I don’t crave. I can’t tolerate anything spicy. I don't know if you’ve ever thrown up spicy pickles but DON’T. I’m pretty sure it’s the worst thing ever, and I’m a pro at vomiting thanks to Killian’s pregnancy 😂

Killian had dental surgery during this time and I wasn’t able to go with him. It was so difficult on my heart not to be there for him 😔 But I knew if I went, I would just be spewing all over their office and I know they wouldn’t have appreciated that very much.

Weeks 7 & 8:

I’m pretty couch or bed locked at this point. I can’t do much of anything otherwise I’ll throw up. And every time I throw up, it’s flashbacks from Killian’s HG pregnancy and I have an almost panic attack. The waiting for HG to hit is indescribable. It’s nerve wracking and so scary. The isolation and invalidation that happens during an HG pregnancy is almost inhumane. So much trauma has resurfaced from my first pregnancy that I’m sorting through with how I was treated and it’s been completely blindsiding. How I was told it was in my mind, it’s not as bad as I’m making it out to be, it’ll end at the end of the first trimester (surprise, it didn’t), and just the lack of any support whatsoever other than from Sam.

These were probably my worst weeks so far in this pregnancy.

Weeks 9, 10, & 11:

I can feel a shift happening in the nausea. I’m still nauseous, don’t get me wrong. I still randomly vomit (like after cleaning my kitchen), but it’s not as debilitating as long as I keep food in my stomach and watch what I do. And every week that passes, I can do more and more things, which is CRAZY to me.

Still can’t do much, but hey, something is changing.

Week 12 & 13:

I’m ALMOST functional!! Still have waves of nausea everyday, and have to stay on top of my unisom/B6 combo, but I’m doing shit!!

At 12.5 weeks Killian and I, along with my older brother and his kids drive up to Big Bear and stay in a cabin for Killian’s birthday and my older brothers birthday. Just to get away and do one last trip together before we move out of state. The first day of our trip, coincided with the day Sam left for Illinois. It made it a little easier on us since we had something to do and weren’t just thinking about him. But I can’t tell you how excited I was to be out and about while pregnant. I wasn’t “functional” until I was like 16 weeks pregnant with Killian and that was because of Zofran and fluids.

Also, about 13.5 weeks I started to feel this little one move! I felt Killian for the first time at 12.5 weeks so I’ve been waiting for these little flutters and they are SO magical!!

It’s still crazy.

That this is a “normal” pregnancy. That I’m not constantly vomiting or bed ridden. That I’m functional and can still do things (albeit not much everyday but I can still do SOME things). I know every pregnancy is different, I tell my clients all the time, but this is just so massively different from my first that it’s like I’ve never been pregnant before.

And I’m actually ENJOYING it, which make my heart just so fucking happy 🥰