Many midwives, doulas, birth workers, etc recommend:

5 days IN bed, 5 days on or around bed, 5 days around the bed room.

It ranges from 5 days to 7 days depending on who you’re talking to and their feelings about the postpartum time.

I wanted to really honor my postpartum period this time. I didn’t with Killian because his pregnancy was so difficult. Once he was born, yes I hurt physically (swollen vagina/vulva and ridiculous hemorrhoids), but it didn’t even come close to how I had felt the previous 9 months of being pregnant. I mean I weeded my driveway BY HAND at like 2.5 weeks postpartum, fucking ridiculous.

Anyways I tried to prepare Sam for how little I wanted to do physically after baby was born. I wanted to try and create a nest upstairs in our bedroom of lots of snacks, plenty of extra waters, anything I needed physically for healing or for my normal routine of meds/vitamins/supplements, etc. I wanted it all to be on the second floor. If it wasn’t in our bedroom, it was right behind the toilet just down the hall.

I wanted this time to be about learning this new soul we had just brought beautifully earth side in our bathroom. We’re breastfeeding and learning each other. Trying to get sleep whenever we can (both of us), and Sam has set up an extra bed in Killian’s room if he needs an extra few hours of good sleep since he’s really focusing on making sure Killian’s bucket is filled. I know he appreciates those extra few uninterrupted hours since he’s literally running the entire house by himself right now 😂

Buuuuut sometimes things don’t always work out the way you envision….

fuuuuuck

If there’s one thing that you should know about me, I HATE being cooped up. My ADD can’t handle not doing something for very. long. Like when I’m sick I have to FORCE myself to not do anything, and even then, by the end of day two I’m legit going stir crazy.

I think by the end of day three or beginning of day four, I was really feeling the cooped up feelings. The frustration that my pelvis and SPD were still in excruciating pain. That my boobs hurt and my nipples were cracked and bleeding. My anxiety was really starting to increase, and I wasn’t sure how to “fix” it which made me start to spiral. I was relying very heavily on my phone and social media to keep in contact with people and feel included in the outside world.

Mental health is so important during postpartum (I mean really all the time but postpartum is such an extremely vulnerable time that I want to really emphasize it here) baby blues are pretty typical (almost 80% of birthing people experience it) and can last up to 14 days. Anything beyond that begins to fall into the postpartum depression territory. And knowing how severe and difficult my postpartum depression was after Killian was born, honestly scared me. I didn’t want that experience again. I truly want(ed) to enjoy this postpartum time as much as possible.

So as much as I wanted to follow the 5/5/5 rule for postpartum, my mental health needed fresh air, and the cold, and to walk around a bit and see the rest of my house. I still listened to my body’s needs, but I also listened to my mental health’s needs as well.

check ups

Declan had her first pediatrician appointment and her pediatrician LOVED her. She is above her birth weight, grew an entire inch already, and is just the most laid back baby. We’re still working on breastfeeding because my nipples are MASSIVE so I’ve been pumping and we’ve been bottle feeding more to give my nipples a break.

It’s so easy to get lost in the all the bullshit “you have to do this,” “this is how you do it,” “this is the best thing for them,” etc.

NO.

You do whatever is best for your baby and your family. If that’s formula feeding, so be it. If it’s supplementing with formula while pumping, you’ll figure it out. If it’s exclusive pumping, sweet I’m so glad that works for you. I forgot how much bullshit and how much parent shaming is out there during this newborn stage (which btw Declan hates all the recommendations and legit does what she wants no matter what I do 😂).