My Story on Becoming a Birth Worker!
Since deciding to begin blogging, I feel that I should really start with my backstory and how I came to be a birth worker. Kind of sets the motion for everything I'm doing now, including birth photography.
The Beginning
So it all started with the birth of my son (remember the previous iPhone photo of me giving birth to my son in the previous post?), yeah I wanted a doula (and a birth photographer) but told myself we couldn't afford either. My husband of course kept telling me that he would support me through the birth of our son *insert eye roll* so against my better judgement, I didn't hire a doula. BAD IDEA.To make a very long story short, I was admitted in early labor because my sons heart rate was not handling the contractions very well. They augmented my labor (augmented = helping along, inducing = starting from the very beginning aka no labor has started). I had a cascade of medical interventions and looking back now am lucky that I was able to give birth to my son vaginally. But for 22.5 hours I felt alone, confined to the bed, laboring by myself, while my husband and friend were in the room with me. I was coerced into medical interventions I did not want but could not find my voice to speak up. I have never felt more alone in a room full of people than I have in my entire life during his birth.
This beautiful baby boy was placed on my chest and my entire world changed. As we went home from the hospital and the transition to motherhood was in full effect, I began to find a hole in my soul and for the life of me couldn't understand why it was there. The more I thought about his birth, the more I looked into labor and delivery related anything. Possibly trying to heal myself? Possibly looking for answers? I can't honestly tell you. And then somehow came across doula organizations and trainings. Which then led into a cascade of research of what they do and how to become one. So in November of 2017 (4 months after my son was born) I began the process of becoming a doula because no woman should ever feel the way I felt when I was giving birth to my son. EVER. By the time I attended the in person DONA training in January, I had completed all of the required "at home" portion of the certification (which was like a ton of stuff).
I was a sponge when it came to anything birth related (and still am). I've read anything I could get my hands on when I had the time. I became certified in Placenta Encapsulator in February and do that as well (and absolutely LOVE IT even though Sam, my husband can't stand it!). I felt called to the bereavement side of the birth world as most people shy away from the topic of death. It's taboo, and after my own miscarriage, vowed to openly talk about miscarriages and death in the hopes that I could provide a safe space for others to speak about what they have gone through. So I decided to certify through Stillbirthday in March, which has by far been one of my greatest accomplishments.
Photography
It was through another bereavement doula in April that was desperately asking for a photographer to photograph a still born that I offered my services. I was very open and honest that I was just starting out. After editing the photos, and realizing that I had appeared to have knack for it, I decided to seriously pursue it as I had always loved photography. But that damn lack of confidence would always get in the way. Even now, I struggle with confidence, especially uploading any photo to a social media platform. You are literally putting your work up for everyone to criticize, talk about freaking nerve wracking!!
But I can't imagine doing anything else with my life. I have new things coming to the business soon that I'm super excited to share with everyone when I can. I'm constantly trying to improve myself and my craft as my goal is to provide all of you with the absolute best that I possibly can. I put my heart and soul into everything I doand I truly hope it shows in my work and my interactions with the mama's I serve. Because at the end of the day, that's what I do, I serve my clients.