How to Cope When Pregnancy Sucks.
This is a really taboo subject in our society. Why? Because pregnancy is glorified. It’s revered and essentially put on a pedestal.
Because when you’re pregnant/gestating you’re supposed to be happy, and glowing, and radiant, and love every second of it.
But what happens when you’re miserable, depressed, or hating every second of it?
guess what? You’re not alone.
There are SO many people who hate being pregnant. Why don’t we hear about it more? Because people get shamed. They have their feelings invalidated by people saying “well at least you can get pregnant” or “just be grateful your body can carry a baby.”
How fucking demeaning is that?
Society is so fucking ridiculous. You can still be grateful you’re with child, and still hate all the things that come with being pregnant. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your child. It doesn’t mean you won’t be a good parent.
Growing a baby is HARD.
All the changes that happen to your body can be HARD.
The journey is HARD.
I hated being pregnant. Yep I said it. Shocking right? Makes people feel uncomfortable. But were there beautiful moments within the misery? Yes. However, those beautiful moments don’t discount the hell I experienced, and it shouldn’t for other people as well.
What you can do.
Find a therapist.
I know this is a privilege, but for those who are able to utilize the services of a professional, please do. They provide a safe space to express your feelings verbally and can even provide feedback on things that may help.
Find a support group.
Whether it’s in person or online. Having and sharing space with like minded individuals allows us to connect as humans on a deeper level. We need connection to thrive in this world. If one thing the coronavirus pandemic taught us, is that we need human interaction. If you’re not able to find a support group, you can always create one. Believe me, you won’t be the only one feeling that way, and I’m sure the other people who would join you would benefit just as much.
Find a creative outlet.
Pick up art, journaling, crafting, crocheting, flipping furniture. Whatever you can do to get your creative juices flowing. You never know, it may even become a side business 🤷🏼♀️😉
Practice meditation and gratefulness.
Meditation doesn’t come naturally, so it is definitely something that needs to be practiced. And you’re fine if it takes times. It will also benefit you when you give birth. And gratefulness allows you to reframe your thoughts when struggling with something. When practicing gratefulness, choose 3 things every morning that you’re grateful for. It can be dealing with the pregnancy or literally anything else. It doesn’t have to be grand or expensive. Like you could literally write down that you’re grateful for your favorite coffee mug or that you found a new favorite pen. It’s literally just getting your brain to focus on what you have in the moment that you’re thankful for. As you continue to practice meditation and gratefulness, you will begin to view things differently.
Depending on the severity of your feelings, talk with your doctor.
Sometimes these feelings turn into antenatal mood disorders like depression. All of the hormones raging through your body make for some big feelings. Some times medications can be the best thing for you. Whether its your medical doctor or a homeopathic doctor, getting some outside professional perspective can really help.
These aren’t everything.
They’re just a few things that I can think of off the top of my head.
When I was pregnant and in the thick of hating everything, the moment I found a support group online (I joined a facebook group for people suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum) I cried from the validation I read. From people who were miserable and going through the same thing I was going through. Who weren’t just writing it off and were completely and totally understanding of all of my thoughts and feelings.
And once I had that safe space to exist in, I was able to get a little creative and do some projects around the house. I even created a room decor for my little one’s nursery (not like he ever used the room though 😂).
When things are rough and feel never ending, it’s just taking baby steps. One foot in front of the other. Taking everything day by day. And while your feelings are completely valid because they’re YOUR feelings, I want you to remember that your mental health matters also.