A Home Birth Transfer: San Diego, CA

Two guess dates can really fuck with your brain sometimes. Is it the 8th or the 10th? Who is following which date? Which date would I be risked out of my home birth? What date am I telling people?

You’re probably thinking “Jelina, it’s ONLY a two day difference. There can’t be THAT much that happens during that time.”

And surprisingly you would be wrong. There’s SO MUCH that could happen in those two days. This is completely hypothetical (and no midwife I know would ever take an earlier date for their paperwork): If your midwife goes by the eighth, but your OB goes by the tenth, you risk out of your home birth two weeks after the eighth on the 22nd, so you schedule an induction for the 24th because that’s when your OB says you’ll be 42 weeks but you go into labor on the 23rd. Had your midwife gone by the OB’s date on their paperwork, barring anything happening, you potentially could’ve had your home birth.

That’s why two days are important. And remember, they’re just educated GUESS DATES. Some people have their baby’s earlier than that date, and some baby’s come even later than 42 weeks (you see this more commonly in wild pregnancies and freebirths and come to find out states OTHER than CA).

“pre” labor

My client Stephanie had been on edge the entire last week of their pregnancy. Friday the eighth was drilled into their brain, even though their midwife had the tenth as their guess date in all their paperwork (used the dating scan date and not their last menstrual cycle date). Which means they would risk out of a home birth on Sunday the 24th and not the 22nd.

Thursday April 21st (41+4): A membrane sweep is done. 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced. Baby is head down and their body has done so much work already!

Friday April 22nd (41+5): A foley balloon is inserted into the cervix/uterus at about 10:30 am. Contractions immediately started and were coming about every 4 minutes already. I was called about noon to start making my way to them. I had a feeling that once baby fully engaged their labor would be pretty efficient.

my arrival

I arrived to Stephanie and Robert’s house at about 1:30 pm. The weather was PERFECT, the ocean was beautiful, and the breeze flowed through their house amazingly. Like I mean it was THE stereotypical day in any movie about San Diego.

Morale was high, Stephanie was walking around with their TENS unit, Robert was eating, and the mood was excited yet calm.

Things were very slowly ramping up so about 3:45 pm I had Stephanie lay in bed to conserve energy and told Robert I was going to grab dinner and be right back.

Well wouldn’t you fucking know it, when I returned things had ramped up QUICKLY when I left.

active labor

Stephanie went from mild contractions that were breathable and walkable, to moaning loudly through them and needing to lean on Robert. She was able to remove the foley bulb so we knew that she was about 4 cm (since that’s typically when they fall out).

I watched, documented, and supported for about 20 min before recommending we call the midwife since it appeared things seemed to be progressing quickly.

After the midwife was called (also did I mention this was right at the start of rush hour traffic in the middle of San Diego. Where a 30 min drive quickly turns in to 2+ hours) we were able to fill the birth tub and Stephanie got in. Her contractions didn’t necessarily space out, but they became more tolerable and I seriously thought that the midwife may not make it if things kept progressing the way they were.

A stall

The midwife got there about 6:00 pm and we all labored together and watched the most gorgeous sunset behind the birth tub. I mean, fucking picturesque.

At about 9 pm Stephanie was checked and she was about 9.5 cm with a small cervical lip.

At about 11:15 pm she was checked again, and she was about 9.75 cm with a small cervical lip. The midwife asked if Stephanie wanted her to try and hold the lip back as she pushed to see if baby’s head could just push it out of the way and Stephanie consented. It didn’t work though, baby didn’t want to push through it.

At about midnight, Stephanie and Robert headed to the bedroom to try different positions to push in to see if it would help while also resting in between.

And about 2 am as they laid down to try and get some rest and I headed to my car to nap (I can’t sleep in clients home since every little noise will wake me and my brain automatically goes to “BABY IS COMING WAKE UP”). Everyone needed it. It had been all hands on deck for hours on end since things had seemed to progress quickly and then trying for hours to work past the cervical lip.

I checked back in at about 4 am and they were sleeping so the midwife sent me back down to sleep some more.

the morning

I walked back in at about 8 am to a more somber feeling in the air. Stephanie and Robert were still in the bed adjusting positions when the midwife came in to have “the talk” with them. Stephanie had stalled at a 9.5 for almost 12 hours but baby’s position would. not. move. He would not descend in her pelvis no matter what we did or tried and I had been having an inkling feeling that he knew something we didn’t.

Stephanie got up and took a shower by herself, she needed some time alone. A midwife spent some time with her, and then I asked to speak with her alone.

I’m always weary to bring up my own personal feelings in a birth space, but sometimes I feel the need to. Sometimes my gut tells me to say something, and it was at this moment that I needed to bring up her baby knowing more than we do. That he knew something we didn’t know and that there was a real possibility he didn’t want to be born at home. With how beautifully Stephanie progressed, and how hard she was pushing for so long, something was up.

After I spoke with her, Robert spoke with her privately as well for awhile and eventually came to both myself and their midwife at about 9:15 am to let us know she wanted to transfer to the hospital.

“He knows something we don’t, you’re right. I’m trusting my baby.”

We left for the hospital at about 11 am.

*even writing this at a later date, I have fucking goosebumps from this memory. I can’t tell you how knowledgable babies are. Trust them.

the hospital

I walked into their hospital room at about 12:30 pm. Between all the requirements and check in, it took some time to finally get up there and then her epidural was placed before 1:00 pm.

When Stephanie got to the hospital, she immediately asked for a cesarean. She was done. She wanted her baby out and for everything to be over. But the hospital refused and said they wanted to see if she progressed or not and suggested Pitocin which Stephanie was not a fan of. They told her they would check her again at 4 pm to see if she progressed and then “go from there” and I know how frustrated Stephanie was by this.

Finally, FINALLY a little after 5 pm they began prepping her for the cesarean. I was already told I wouldn’t be allowed back (even though I had just been back in the OR a few months prior but it’s still frustrating and just my own personal feelings). She was finally wheeled back to the OR at 5:48 pm and Robert joined her at 6 pm.

I was able to come back to post-op at about 7:45 pm and was able to stay with them until they transferred to their postpartum room where I left at about 9:45 pm.

I can’t tell you the absolute joy I had when I finally saw all THREE of them together. He’s here, he’s finally here 💕

and he fucking knew

Within 24 hours of being born, baby was in the NICU for the highest bilirubin levels the nurses had seen in a newborn that old. Bilirubin lights, IV fluids, you name it.

If he had been born at home, yes everyone would have noticed he had jaundice, but it would have been caught later. He knew he needed the hospital and Stephanie trusted him.

And that is fucking badass ✨