Prenatal Visits: OB vs. Midwife
What is the difference between a prenatal visit with an OB and an out of hospital midwife?
SO FUCKING MUCH. Seriously. It’s like night and day.
OB/GYN
I’m going to walk through a typical appointment with an OB when you are pregnant/gestating.
Check in at the front desk.
They pull you back to pee in a cup to test for drugs/protein.
You head back out to the waiting room to wait to get pulled back to a room.
Once you’re in the room, they run through your vitals, the nurse asks if you have any specific questions you want to ask the OB (to give the OB a heads up of what you want to talk about) and they leave the room.
You sit in a cold room either by yourself or if you have partner with you, you can talk to them.
OB comes in, asks how you’re doing, if anything has changed, answers questions you may have had, measures your belly with tape, palpates your belly (feels your belly) if you’re far enough along, and listens to baby’s heartbeat.
Asks if you have anymore questions, then leaves.
Your appointment from when your OB walks into the room, to when they leave is typically LESS THAN 10 MINUTES.
You’re growing a fucking human being, and they only see you for 10 MINUTES.
Midwife appointment
I’m going to walk you through a typical home birth midwife appointment. It’s typically in the comfort of your own home, on your couch or bed.
Belly palpation.
Snacks are typically out because we all love to feed people 😂
If you have other children, they’re typically all up in the midwives business asking questions or running around or simply sitting with you listening to everything that is going on.
Midwife checks in with how you’re doing. How you’re REALLY doing. Are you eating? Taking prenatals? How’re your bowl movements? Baby’s movements? If you’re working, how that’s going. How is the home life? How is your partner doing? YES THEY ASK ABOUT YOUR PARTNER. They answer questions in depth and explain them instead of just glossing over them or dismissing them all together.
Midwife may run some tests (like a urine specimen) but it’s in your own bathroom.
They also check your belly measurement and palpate your belly, however many times they also ask partner (if applicable) if they want to feel baby as well. They’ll listen to baby’s heart with a doppler and will also offer partner or any kids in the room if they want to do it.
They’ll make recommendations if needed, and answer more questions. As you get farther along, they’ll get more in depth of when to call them, when to set up the birth pool if that’s wanted, what they need if anything for your birth.
Nothing is rushed and your appointment typically lasts about 45 minutes.
It’s seriously night and day, the difference you experience between a hospital setting and an out of hospital birth setting. Nothing compares to the emotional care you receive with a true out of hospital midwife (in hospital midwives are different, they typically follow the OB outline more closely).
My ob experience
One of my OB appointments early in my pregnancy, I was asking the OB about when I could feel baby kick because I thought I was feeling it, like little flutters. I was 13 weeks or so, and the OB was literally halfway out the door and dismissed me and said it was gas and not baby. Literally just walked out of the room as I was asking her. I was a first time parent, like I get it, first time parents have more anxiety and typically have way more questions than seasoned parents. But low and behold, I was actually feeling my baby kick, and it had started at 12.5 weeks. But she was SO dismissive, it was gross and left such a bad feeling.
At my 22 ish week appointment I had gained about 20 lbs already and had JUST taken my glucose test. Was actually in the middle of doing it during my OB appointment (was going to get my blood drawn after seeing my OB to check levels), and was feeling ok but I was finally gaining weight after not gaining anything due to HG and my OB proceeded to put me on the gestational diabetes diet because I was overweight to begin with. It took away ALL of the safe foods I could eat, literally all of them, leaving me nothing that I could stomach due to HG. She literally said “if you don’t anymore weight this pregnancy, that’ll be just fine.” LIKE WHAT 😳 Excuse you? You’d rather me starve than get some kind of nutrition in my body!?
I fired her after that appointment.
you have options
If you are having a low risk pregnancy/gestation, YOU HAVE OPTIONS. You don't have to be just another number. You’re not just a time slot. You are a human being growing a human being. Your experience matters. Your ENTIRE EXPERIENCE matters, including the care you receive at each of your appointments.
If there’s something happening, or you’re not liking the way you’re being treated, you can totally fire your medical provider.
Notice I’ve said FIRE them multiple times so far. People forget that their care providers WORK FOR THEM. Yes, they work for you. You are paying for the insurance that they are getting paid by.
You know your body better than anyone else.